


Dogs

by Euphoric_Mandelbulb



Series: Definitions [1]
Category: Being Human (UK)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Corpses, Dogs, Gen, Hal has issues, Humour and Angst, Trigger Warning: Baby Vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1434178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euphoric_Mandelbulb/pseuds/Euphoric_Mandelbulb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom recognises a kindred spirit.<br/>Adapted from my original post on the BBC Being Human Blog comments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> Set post-“The Graveyard Shift”, pre-“Making History”.
> 
> Slight spoilers for the end of Series Four. 
> 
> Not beta'd, because I have no beta :-( Did not need Britpicking, because I am British.

Annie had misjudged how much milk they had left, so there hadn't been enough for her to put on Tom's Cheerios. Tom was walking home through the chilly dawn with a freshly-purchased pint when he heard something whining.  
  
He traced the sound to a short alley between two shops, filled with industrial bins. The stench of the rubbish was almost overpowering, so it took him a moment to notice the thin, scruffy dog peering around one of the bins.  
  
“'Allo mate. Good dog. You lost or summat?”  
  
Tom cautiously approached the dog, trying to appear friendly. The dog whined again, turned and walked behind the bin.  
  
“It's al'ight, ya don' need ter worreh, the moon ain't full... oh.”  
  
Tom was now close enough to detect the _other_ smells above that of rubbish. The distinctive odours of someone who had recently become a corpse, plus... the usual byproducts of that process.  
At least he couldn't smell blood, so it probably wasn't vampires - for once. (Tom sometimes pondered whether vampires would kill less often if they were more careful about not spilling blood everywhere. He hadn't dared to ask Hal, in case it made him have a funny turn.)  
  
He peered round the bin, and saw an untouched, though filthy, male corpse which had probably belonged to someone homeless. There was no sign of a ghost, so presumably the man had passed over or gone to sort out his unfinished business by himself...  
  
Tom's musings were interrupted by another whine from the dog. He patted its head and wondered where to get some food for it.  
  
As he walked off, planning on heading back towards the shop, the dog followed. Tom thought a little, then headed for home; the dog trotted behind him.  
  
  
Annie took one look at the dog and dropped her head into her hands. “Tom, we can barely afford to keep Eve in nappies!”  
  
“'Al did _say_ he'd make some washable 'uns, he'll even wash 'em.”  
  
“ _And_ we have to feed ourselves – well, you and Hal and Eve.”  
  
“I can -”  
  
“NO, you _cannot_ shoplift. That is _only_ for emergencies. This dog is _not_ an emergency. Call the RSPCA.”  
  
Tom sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, Annie was right: two minimum wages wouldn't cover a dog as well as a baby and two grown men.  
  
“Can I at least give 'im breakfast?”  
  
“We don't have any dog food.”  
  
“I were thinkin' bread and milk? An' maybe Cheerios?”  
  
“Don't be _ridiculous_ , Tom. The sugar's not good for him, and I don't think dogs can drink milk. Give him some bread and I'll... um... boil a couple of eggs for him.”  
  
  
The dog enjoyed his breakfast (he even ate the eggshells), and proved himself house-trained by going into the garden to do the necessary. As Tom cleaned it up, Eve began wailing in the attic, and Annie rentaghosted upstairs to get the baby fed and dressed.  
  
Hal finally arrived downstairs, having finished his morning exercise routine. Tom decided that it might be funny to make Hal worry that the dog was here to stay.  
  
“'ere, Hal, come look at this!” he called from the kitchen.  
  
Hal walked in, then stopped dead.  
  
The dog gave a friendly bark. Hal remained very silent indeed.  
  
“Ain't 'e great? 'E's trained an' all that, no mess on the carpet or nowt.”  
  
The dog barked again and wagged his tail. Hal maintained his silence.  
  
“Say 'ullo to Hal, Tony.”  
  
The dog offered a paw to “shake hands”. Hal froze, then began twitching slightly.  
  
“Oh wow, 'e's almost more human than I am!” marvelled Tom.  
  
“... excuse me, please,” muttered Hal; he staggered into the garden, emptied some charred fragments out of the brazier and placed it over his head.  
  
As Tom stared at Hal in confusion, Annie returned with Eve.  
  
“Tom, what have you done to Hal?”  
  
Eve squealed in delight upon seeing the dog, which wandered over to look at her and tilted his head in mild confusion at the sight of a baby apparently floating in mid-air. Eve strained to reach the dog.  
  
“I ain't done nowt!” Tom protested. “I were jus' showin' 'im Tony, an' 'e went all stiff an' silent, like! I thought it were small dogs 'e can't 'andle?”  
  
The dog – Tony – stood in “beg” position so that Eve could reach his head. Eve began whacking the dog's head in a spirited attempt to pat him.  
  
“That's a dog, Eve. Can you say dog? Say dog?”  
  
“Gagogule...”  
  
“There! She said it!” Annie looked triumphant.  
  
“She never, Annie.”  
  
“Well, she had trouble with the 'd' sound, but she was trying her best! Don't be so ageist!” Annie huffed.  
  
Tom sighed and patted the dog, who in turn barked happily and licked Eve. Eve giggled so hard that she began to hiccup, which soon made her sick.  
  
“Oh, poor little poppet!” Annie gasped. “Are you okay now? Let's get you cleaned up... Tom, get mopping.”  
  
Out in the garden, Hal removed the brazier from his head at last.  
  
“Has it gone yet?” he called through to the kitchen.  
  
“Give Tom a chance, Hal!”  
  
“Not the mess, the dog. Has it left yet?”  
  
“OI!”  
  
“No, not Tom, the dog which _always_ walks on four legs.”  
  
Tony the dog answered this with another bark, which sent Hal back into the brazier. Annie's attempt to lure him out with his breakfast cup of tea failed: he produced a straw with which to drink his tea via one of the air-holes in the brazier.  
  
  
Eventually, Annie took Tony (and Eve) down the road and round the corner so that Hal could bring himself to come out of the brazier, change his shirt and go to work. Once Hal was occupied cleaning the café kitchen, Tom nipped home to (tearfully) hand the dog over to the RSPCA before returning to work.  
  
  
Tom wished that they had a camera so that he could have had a photo of Tony the dog to keep.  
After the warehouse, he regretted ever harder that he'd never saved up for a camera.

**Author's Note:**

> A brazier is a large metal bin with airholes in it and a sort of chimney on the roof. Mitchell burns his scrapbook in the Honolulu Heights one – that's what the charred fragments in this fic are from.


End file.
